I was taking a walk through my past and I noticed something interesting. I think I left and lost some part of myself when I tried to change my personality into this more positive, happier and optimistic person. This kind of change shouldn't be a bad thing, but I feel like with that part of me gone, along went with it some of my creativity.
I bid goodbye to my emo and poetic self, and said hello to my happier, but more rigid self.
I find it hard to want to maintain my thoughts and memories of things that happened in the recent times, because I can easily forget them and not be bothered by them that way. So I get lazy about writing a diary and making notes of my day, things that were an inseparable part of my life in the past. But I feel like it's such a waste, to let those memories slip away...
Out of nowhere I'm writing this, as if I haven't already got enough on my hands. Ah. I am a really confused person.
i was just thinking, that you ought to never try bidding goodbye to any parts of yourself, because that's only shoving things behind a door and trying to believe they arent there. not definitely what you should do but what you could do is keep trying to bring stuff back from behind that door and reassimilating it whenever you're ready - then someday you have all your weaknesses but also your strengths, sad and creative or anything, but at least you'll be whole, and maybe that feeling of wholeness on the inside is better than anything else that could come into your life. after all you deserve to have, out of all the things in the world, at least yourself in one piece.
ReplyDeletethat is a very insightful thought... thank you for it.
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