I'm in Somnia.

This is bad. People go to Narnia, I go
in Somnia.

I'm starting to get insomnia again. Alright alright, I'm not supposed to call it insomnia as much as it simply is an irregular body clock else my education has accomplished naught to this day.

Afterall, it occurs on and off. Well it used to happen all the time but I managed to transform into some sort of solid rock of a nemurimonster as I'm gonna be calling it, and I managed to actually sleep within like a bunch of tens of minutes of hitting the cosy corner.

But these past few days have been like the bane of all bedsheets. Like, they aren't getting any love. I just don't feel ready for bed. My mind is awake and blasting out on all sorts of frequencies. I'm racing against my own thoughts and worries. It's all madness in there. Madness that has to be reigned in to get a pinch of sleep.

I've been worrying about job applications, growing fatter, growing unhealthier, worrying about the modules, the uncertainty I'm having towards what I'm learning in particular classes, worrying, worrying, worrying. Worrying about things that I never used to worry about. I'm starting to be inclined towards the lives of others, starting to feel awe and jealousy at the seemingly smooth roads, the completed journey, the end of the tunnel. Wanting that kind of life that is just not me.

Since when did I care about such things. Since when did I start having "idols" and finding someone else I wanted to be?

No. I will not have that. I will do what i do and accomplish what I will. And I will not look at the lives of others and imagine myself in it because that no real way to live. My own world is my own world and I will mould it according to my own merits and my own abilities. No over-the-top or underestimating.

Bah. I don't even know what I'm saying. What I'm trying to say is, my mind is in a big confusion now and I need to bring it back to earth so i can get some sleep.

Toodles and noodles.